Tuesday, September 06, 2005


If we bring the Troops home... Can we send the protesters instead?

Lets send the November 48%er's to Iraq and bring our boys home. Heck, I'll even buyem a plane ticket and an Orange Jumpsuit (the favorite attire of any insurgent's guests). They can unleash pretty barrages of flowers on the Ak47 weilding enemy. They can smokem out with herbal incense and attack with fully loaded bongs. If necessary they can melt their icy hearts with bongo drums and Kumbaya My Lords. Forget blinding lasersights mounted on rifles, the awe inspiring swirls in any tyedye shirt will confuse and pacify the enemy. All while patrolling the countryside, not in up armored Humvees (which kill the enviroment) but in pastel VW Bugs, which are immune to roadside bombs and RPG fire. They can bond with the enemy and show their love at FallujahStock. They can teach the insurgents not string up Americans from beams and bridges but earthcrystals and windchimes instead.

By sending the protesters to Iraq we can eventually accomplish one of two goals:

1. Crush the insurgency, as they will either kill themselves rather than be subjected to the Hippie onslaught or start lining up at Abu Gharid already naked with bags on their heads to escape it.

2. Prove to protesters that do make it back, if any do, that not all people in this
world believe in Freelove, tyedyes, and Peace.

American Chicken Stuff

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