Monday, March 28, 2005

 

Hell. noun To an American see below, Utopia. noun To a liberal see below.

Heaven to a Liberal must be like a green unspoiled field of flowers, where hummingbirds and puppy dogs play, dotted by the occasional Communist-era Tenement Building, where everything is homogeneous and equal, with an Abortion Clinics next to a Strip Club, across from a Free Meat Ration Centers next to the Government Will Adopt All Unwanted Animals center, all underneath billboards reminding Citizens to hug a tree and save a whale. Citizens that gain entry into this Heaven include Pedophiles and Serial murders, because their sins are the result of societies mistakes, Terrorists who are forgiven because the Citizens didnt respect their viewpoints or situation enough, Adulterers and bigamists, because by denying them where would the Great Leaders of the Left go when they died? (Roosevelt, Kennedy, Clinton and the ever faithful Jesse Jackson). Those who do not accept the State as the highest power in their lives go to somewhere else when they die, so this heaven is void of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus and every other religious group. The word God is taboo, for someone might be offended, and besides, religion has yet to be proven thru scientific methods, and science is never wrong. Alas, there are too many right angles in a Cross, to few in a Crescent or Star, and statues of overweight smiling bald men are offensive to overweight smiling bald men, and can all be easily replaced by the huge red banners of the State. And of course the average Citizen cannot be forced to learn common sense, so the state bans running and scissors, forks and toasters, and putting all ones eggs in one basket. Dogs and cats are equals, and have a place at the dinner table by law. Politicians are appointed not by their qualifications or merits, but by how many ounces of tears they can cry whilst looking at pictures of oil spills or dead baby seals. Law are determined by the rule of emotion, depending on what feels right and internationally correct to a group of judges on any given day. Citizens from Texas are called Citizens from Texas, because calling them Texans would offend people from outside of Texas. For the same reason the Flag would be illegal, only pictures of Comrade Stalin, Mao, Pot, Castro, Lenin, Minh, and Clinton . Football players huddle and give thanks to the Revolution or whatever before every game, and chase each other yelling "I tackled you" since physical contact is too violent and someone could get hurt. In the end of every sporting event though, there are always two winners, since calling one team or opponent the "loser" who demean and demoralize the less talented team. Time machines allow the honest leaders left of center to go into the future and analyze facts and intelligence, unlike the leaders right or center, who have also traveled to the future and analyzed facts and intelligence, only choose to lie about them. Healthcare is free, but only herbs and weed are administered, as burning fossil fuels or using nuclear energy are forbidden and there's no electricity to power the medical equipment. And if the marijuana and herbs don't bring your fever down, the government health officer can prescribe you an extra strength cyanide pain reliever. Dan Rather runs the Ministry of Truth, Ted Kennedy the Alcohol part of the former A.T.F., Clinton the Tobacco part, and the ACLU oversees the newly created Sticks & Stones & Words division, forming the new and improved A.T.S.S.W. The great unjust war hero protester John Kerry is in charge of the design and awarding of medals to our veterans, only after the medals pass rigorous abuse and distance throwing tests. Only there aren't many veterans, since soldiers go into battle with homemade slingshots and spears, as there is no $ left for the military after paying for massive social programs. The Army's new slogan is " The Army required of every one", and casualties mount in the many overseas misunderstandings, as permission to return fire is withheld on the account of possible collateral damage, and has been withheld for more than 3 years into the Middle East misunderstanding. Every Citizen is required to drive an electric car, except the politicians and the Hollywood movie stars, they are too busy to wait and recharge batteries. The average Citizen enjoys handing over his / her paycheck to his neighborhood government official, and celebrates when handed back enough to survive for three days after payday. It is immoral and illegal for a company to strive work hard and gain success in their field while turning a profit, so government nationalizes the company and dishes out free cigarettes, alcohol, and oil, all while the Citizen rejoices over the end of the evil corporations. The average Citizen eagerly rolls up their sleeve and smile when the friendly and honest neighborhood government official informs them they are too sick or old or sad or unhealthy or rational and would burden the state, even reimbursing the state for the needle and injection. In this Heaven the Citizen accepts that the State is the ultimate salvation , the highest power, and that their life is unimportant, to be lived only serving and praising the state, and to be finished by the state. In this Heaven the bigger the government the better and the more bureaucracy the better. .........

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

 

Peace Thru Superior Firepower

**Disclaimer By reading the following article, you, the reader, your dog or cat, or any other entity human or not, waive liability from damages resulting from heart attack, stress, shortness of breath of other illness, as well as damage to carpet from bleeding hearts or other organs.**
Charter 500,000 buses @ 100 per day x 4 days = 200 million
Compensate every Iraqi 100 per day x 4 days = 12 billion
Compensate every family 5000 for shelter = 50 billion
One Big Nuke = got plenty lying around
Fuel for delivering one big nuke = this is Mid. East right

Turning the entire fertile crescent into one big sheet of glass 50 feet thick after all the good Iraqis and our boys have pulled out (as well as saving us some money and having solved the entire world's glass shortage problem)

= Priceless

L.M.A.O. :) musta been some silly mushrooms in my omlette this morning.....
**This is joke. I dont like protesters in front of my house with bongos, effigies, burning flags (actually do the flag thing I haven' been to target practice in a while)**

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

 

Red State of Affairs

Ive been asked to clarify my position politically, so here goes:

I consider myself a constitutionalist, more conservative fiscally and religiously with socially liberal tendencies (I give my spare change to the guy selling pencils). Most importantly I believe in the supreme power of the state, the government is the glue that holds them together, but in the state lies the power. I prefer it that way, so if the people of state 123 decide they want to ban smoking outright, and i live in state 123, I can move to state ABC where smoking is seen as a privilige of age (why I dont live in a dry county in Texas). I see welfare as a temporary *Stress temporary* assistance to be given in conditions of unemployment or hardship. I believe in individual responsibility, the sacredness of the Flag, the unwavering support of our troops in no matter what situation. Equality should be universal, by breaking people down into groups and genders and races we divide more than unite. I believe using quotas and percentages in hiring and admissions furthers racism, not resolves it. Education should be just that, education, and institutions of education should educate, not politic. We must respect our neighbors nationally, but not allow them to determine our role in the world, that is our own choice. I believe in the death penalty, because an individual who does not value life shouldnt miss his/her own. I believe if someone hits you with a rock you smackem with a 2x4 with a nail it. I oppose abortion, religiously and because there are alternatives except in the case of rape incest or medical necessity, and because I believe abortion in itself is a tool to suppress the minorities in this country and allow the single rich women to act like rhymes with boars,(Google the California lady offering free sterilization to inner-city women). My heroes wear many uniforms, policeman blue, firefighter yellow, paramedic white, soldier green. I love nature, I catch n release, but wont flip my Suburban three times over and kill my family to avoid a squirrel in the road. I love fireworks, pickups, cherry pie, my guns. I trust no but myself when it comes to my money, I prefer the lowest possible number in the F.I.T column of my check. I have a cross, not so much to protect me but to remind me of the sacrifice He mad for me. In short: GOD GUNS GLORY, all three ensure the survival and safety of my family.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

 

Hypocriticus Liberalalis or the Tweedle Dem and Tweedle Demmer

I was wondering how long it would take the Supreme court to start playing the role of King Creator and Master, I now have my answer with thier decision to abolish the death penalty for those under 18 years of age. Makes perfect sense right? Those under the age of 18 have yet to develop a moral understanding of the world, learn the difference between wrong and right, and comprehend the sanctity of life. The state should not be allowed to administer capital punishment in that case, correct? Even if Billy was only 16 or 17 when he walks into a ice cream shop, ties up the 4 teenage girls who work there part-time, attempts to rape them, shoots each in the head twice, douses the bodies in gasoline, sets the building on fire, and dumps the gun. Nope the state has no right to kill those who commit the ultimate sin, no matter how young. Maybe Billy didn't get a pony when he was little, maybe he had a bad childhood. My liberal (somewhat pinko commie) friends agree, unless of course the minor in question has done nothing wrong, except maybe chosen the wrong mother's womb to inhabit, then it's perfectly legal, a "personal choice", a woman's "right". The hypocrasy is nauseating. Make that point to your liberal friends, hear their reaction to state executions of minors and then, and only then, ask "what if the minor has done nothing at all, just made a poor choice when it came to his/her mother?". Listen to the wails and laments of "government infringement on our rights, yada yada"
Tis a sad day, when 5 justices reverse what should be essentially a state's power, a decision determined by the people of one state through their legislature. I pointed out to my liberal friends (in Austin its easier to catch falling meteors than walk around and not bump into one) that the D.C. sniper duo comprised of one older individual and one 17 year old who pulled the trigger. Utter silence, somewhat beautiful, somewhat sad (the response mechanisms in their heads shut down), shattered by the universal liberal response to anything, ("the car broke", "I lost my homework", "Hitler invaded Poland", etc...) "It's society's fault". I shall not (H.) say his name in vain, why is so hard to believe a human cannot develop the ability to distinguish between wrong and right, to learn that killing is wrong. The Malvo kid watched thru his scope as people's heads exploded after he pulled the trigger. Even my dumbest (no apologies to the P.C. warriors) liberal amigos know that if you touch a hot stove u get burned. Hence Pavlov's theory, my brain (no matter how small) equates the hot stove with pain, I avoid touching it. By denying that Malvo can assume responsibility for his crimes you diminsh the entire human race. I can't wait to hear of gang members recruiting minors to carry out killing police and innocent bystanders by coercing their recruits with "it's ok, you'll get respect from every gang and they can't give you death penalty".
Hypocriticus Liberalalis - relative of the lemming, blindly following all those around him, void of any morals or rationale.
P.S. Mark.. How now brown cow?

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